What might have been lost....

You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for.

I want to go to bed tonight not thinking of your face. Or your arms around me. Or of the feeling of your head against my neck. I want to go to bed tonight without this sharp pain in my heart. I want to go to bed tonight and not shake with sadness because I can’t feel you next to me, I cant hear your voice or kiss your lips. I want so badly to not want you anymore. To not check my phone every 5 minutes in case you’ve said you’re coming over cause you just need to hold me too.

 I want to not want you so much when you want me so little.

I want to believe in something that’s true, and real.

I want to be the one who’s feelings matter.

I want to be the one that comes first.

I want to be your choice.

I want you to love me as much as I love you.

I want my heart to stop breaking.

I want the tears to stop.

I want your words to have been true.

I want to finally, finally be able to give up on you.

I want to be able to convince myself that this time, I actually have given up on you.

I want to be able to lie to myself and believe it.  

I want everything I cant have.  

I just want you.

Because when something happens, she’s the person I want to tell. The most basic indicator of love.

—David Levithan (via shelbyisms)

(Source: honey-rider, via nofatnowhip)

Again and again and again and again.

(via jchinn)

shit like this is why i love tumblr. That and my life is a giant waste of time.

shit like this is why i love tumblr. That and my life is a giant waste of time.

(via ohcardigan)