I want to go to bed tonight not thinking of your face. Or your arms around me. Or of the feeling of your head against my neck. I want to go to bed tonight without this sharp pain in my heart. I want to go to bed tonight and not shake with sadness because I can’t feel you next to me, I cant hear your voice or kiss your lips. I want so badly to not want you anymore. To not check my phone every 5 minutes in case you’ve said you’re coming over cause you just need to hold me too.
I want to not want you so much when you want me so little.
I want to believe in something that’s true, and real.
I want to be the one who’s feelings matter.
I want to be the one that comes first.
I want to be your choice.
I want you to love me as much as I love you.
I want my heart to stop breaking.
I want the tears to stop.
I want your words to have been true.
I want to finally, finally be able to give up on you.
I want to be able to convince myself that this time, I actually have given up on you.
I want to be able to lie to myself and believe it.
I want everything I cant have.
I just want you.